This picture was taken by Bill Love. You might think that the subject of the photo is the 20+ foot Reticulated Python. However if you know Bill you would realize that the subject is not the snake (except maybe in metaphor). The real subject is--well, I'll give you a hint: there are two of them.

The most colorful reptiles at the show, aside from my albino thayeri, belonged to Bob Sanders Fine Glass.

The sign above my head is one of the bus-stop shelter signs I had installed at multiple bus-stops around Tucson. These helped bring in the crowd of over 5000. Note the ATM sign. About $30,000 was withdrawn from the two on site ATMs over the weekend.

Pete of Delight's Earthly Delights produced necklace's patterned after multiple species of snakes. They sold great. Plus, you don't have to feed them and they don't tend to bite or escape.

 Multiple monitor species were on display and for sale, exhibiting more forked tongues that at the Arizona State Lawyers Convention.

Reptile Specialists does all their deals with a hand shake.

Richard Funk DVM, our beloved show vet, presented a lecture on reptile surgery and showed a bunch of yucky pictures. I prefer to view my animals from the outside. But the talk was great.

A painted lady.

Julie, all the way from Chicago, produces some of the funniest shirts around. My favorite is still:

'Reptile Dysfunction'. 

Michelle gave up her weekend at Famous Sam's to work the reptile show. The tips were better and the patrons were less drunk. Bethany gave up going to church, that's why she has such an evil smile.

Among the 40 or so exotic venomous snakes on display at the show was this 12 foot King Cobra. The largest venomous snake in the world.

Another intra-species liaison? Many consider female humans a separate species. And many consider Christian a species onto himself.

If you like Geckos, then you've got to have one (if you don't already) of Joey's paintings. Gekkards.com.

"Hey Nikki, look at that pterodactyl flying near the ceiling."

Bill Love and I have similar taste in photo subjects.

Megan closes her eyes in ecstasy when holding a nice snake. 

Leapin' Lizards

Hardcore Bronco's fans get in free*

                                                                                                                                     *just kidding

Ultraviolet LED flashlights make scorpions glow bright green like sci- fi movie toxic waste. They also light up certain minerals, cat urine and surprisingly, Brian Hubbs (below on the left).

Wendi who stands for Truth, Justice and Poison Dart Frogs, is a runner up for best company name 'Frogs With Altitude'. She hails from the over mile high city of Colorado Springs, CO.

Two forced smiles

You don't see many Argentine Boas any more. Probably because of there propensity for eating teenage girls.

How did this picture get in here. My camera just went off by accident.

Seeing as Dinosaurs and Birds have common ancestors, we allowed a few of our avian friends into the show for photo ops.

It's Ok kid. I'd be a little freaked too with a bird the size of my little sister within pecking distance of my eyes.

The Reptile Depot guys were across the isle from the T&A booth (a local strip club), who put a few cheap lizards on a table to justify being at the show. I figure they came just for 'exposure'. Get it? Anyway the booth was quite distracting.

Zeenog and Plenog of the planet Tralfamador, are multidimensional beings. The part of their essence that can exist on Earth happens to closely resemble a type of Blue Poison Dart frog. Tralfamadorians, very sexual beings, had a wonderful time hanging out at Amanda's Arizona Dendrobate Ranch booth. I can't wait to see the hybrids. 

One of my bus stop adds. This one on Swan Rd.

A Woma x Ball Python cross produced by Tom Sundin. The Wall Python.

Gabon Vipers are one of the coolest looking snakes on the planet. They also have the longest fangs. As exotic venomous snakes are illegal in AZ, your best bet for seeing one is at the Tucson Reptile & Amphibian Show next year. 

James and Lacy of Woody's Reptiles. I guess Woody is a pet name for some anatomical thingy or other.

Bruce, the show's official attorney, is fascinated by snakes, as are most lawyers--they have so much in common. Little does he know that he staring at a table full of selectively bred Lawyer-Eating Snakes. Even in this economy they are selling like wildfire.

All that's left of last years official show attorney.

For years Robert has been trying to get his Glass Snakes to reproduce. Same problem with his Jeweled Lizards and Glass Frogs. Some people just can't get the hang of captive breeding.

It's great to have Aaron around. When someone professes an attitude that I'm weird for keeping and breeding snakes, I just give them Aaron's card to put things in perspective.

"Hey, do you know what this thing is? I just found it on the floor." "Heck dude, I've never seen anything like that before. You think it's venomous?" "Gee, I don't know, hand it to Mikey, he'll let anything bite him." "Ow! that hurt. Hey I think my hand's getting numb." "Cool dude."

Nice and cuddly. Don't bite. Don't crap. Don't eat. Don't die. Don't cost much. Is it any wonder that Deana was sold out by the end of the show?

The Tucson Herpetological Society has had a booth at the last seven shows (this was #8). Dedicated to conservation, education, and research concerning the herpetofauna of Arizona & Mexico and to eating pizza and drinking lots of beer before meetings.

Tarantula Inc. Came all the way from Omaha NE. I just can't see driving halfway across country with a thousand spiders in my car. Of course a couple hundred snakes doesn't bother me at all. I just laughed through Snakes on a Plane. But if it were Spiders on a Plane I'd probably pee in my pants. To each his own.

The Tucson Reptile & Amphibian Show attracts quite a Goth crowd. Actually it attracts just about everybody. With an attendance of 5000-6000 we attract about 1% of the town of Tucson.

Even with the huge human presence, reptiles & amphibians far out-number the people. Let's hope the herps don't read Karl Marx or we could be in for some trouble.

Tiki Tiki Reptiles from Las Vegas were the only group specializing in Chameleons at the show. They did great. Supply and demand wins again.

Bluebeast Reptiles also from the neon painted city had over a dozen species of tortoises on display.

Roy & Ruth, The Snake House, also own the Outback Oasis Motel in Sanderson Texas, the heart of Alterna country (Gray-Banded Kingsnakes). These beautiful snakes were one of the driving forces behind the captive breeding movement of the '70s--Because there so damn hard to find in the wild!

Ryan and Bob I'm sure are great artists, but I prefer my snakes with the color they were born with. I don't get this snake painting thing. I imagine the paint rubs off eventually and you have to repaint them just like outdoor furniture.

Nate Kutnick and a woman covered with name tags that I can't read due to camera resolution and his failure to list her on his application. Dan sold cool Boas and ceramic lizards and frogs. Live long and prosper Dan.

Two alien homesteaders from the planet Gödel in the galaxy Andromada that have escaped their confinement. As they are my daughter and father, I'm inclined to just keep them under close quarantine. However, if you see either of these two harassing any of our native fauna, Just Let Me Know.

What can you say about Dale of recycled road kill. I've got half a dozen wallets, two check books and a custom knife sheath over the years. All snakes are found dead on the road

Tortoises are the intellectual representatives of the reptile world. They are commonly found reading the financial page. One way to catch tortoises in the wild is to spread out a copy of the Wall Street Journal in the appropriate habitat and observe from a distance.

Chris doing some hard line negotiating with a potential customer.

Selecting the proper snake for the grill can be difficult. Gopher Snakes need to be flash fried. Sonoran Gopher Snakes are best wrapped in bacon, served on a bun with mayonnaise and a hot pepper.

Some skeletons in the closet of the Phoenix Herp Society.

The Phoenix Herp Society treks down from Phoenix with a zoo size collection of animals.

Blue-Bellied Fence Lizard lying on its back. Typical pose for the species.

Thanks to Gary of Red-Tail Enterprises, no cats or other small mammals left the show alive. Oh. Someone please give him a can of Arid Extra Dry.

Eighteen foot Reticulated Python trying to decide on its next meal.

Sam, of the T-Rex Museum, viewing the show through rose colored glasses.

That's not really tape around the alligators mouth; it's just black paint to pacify the parents.

These guys supplied there own caption.

The T-Rex Museum, not to be confused with T-Rex Reptile Products, put on there annual fossil dig for kids and over protective mommy's.

We had door prizes every 20 minutes or so. About half supplied by ZooMed. Although T-Rex Reptile couldn't make it to the show, they sent a bunch of stuff for door prizes also. It's too bad T-Rex couldn't come, because Rachel, the T-Rex showgirl is a lot cuter than Thushara.

Some people really get into the sprit of the show.

Don Shores wins the prize for best company name.

Todd Driggers DVM gave a great lecture on Desert tortoises.

Amanda of AZDR and her tadpole.

Tortoise In Its Shell, Sonoran Style 

1 tortoise, dressed / 1 clove garlic, minced (I prefer 3 cloves) / salt / milk / 1 cup orange juice / lard / 1 onion, chopped / 1 chili pepper, crushed / bread crumbs

Dress the desert tortoise and cut the meat into bite size pieces and braise in the lard with the onion, garlic, chili and salt. The shell is carefully cleaned and the inside rubbed with lard and filled with the braised meat mixed with bread crumbs which has been steeped in milk and the orange juice. It is then put in the oven and baked until the meat is tender and served with rice and chutney.

This guy (never got his name, if you see your picture email me with your name and I'll put it in) carved this masterpiece just for the show. Coooool.

The unknown 4th member of ZZ Top

Marty and Frank just after finishing a whole plate of Sonoran style tortoise. See recipe above.

Ernie's book has some great lizard recipes too.

Skink Stew, page 347.

I hate to admit it, but this woman is more macho than me. I just can't get myself to play with spiders.

Because of the economy, a lot baby corns snakes didn't get sold. French fried with salsa they give nachos an extra kick.

My son Ryan manned my booth and sold a lot of Thayeri. He needs the money for gas as he gets his drivers license in January. I would recommend that everybody stay off the road for the next six months or so.

The Evolution of Nikki: 2006                                      2007                                                2008 (Pre-mommy )

Mommy 2009 (exemplified by the hands on hips--a typical mommy stance)

Vera Stalker is a truly amazing balloon artist. She made a lot of kids very happy. verasballoons@yahoo.com

You can't please all of the people all of the time.

Kirby, About to see if one of his Lawyer-Eating-Kingsnakes will consent to feasting on a lowly author

It's getting very late and I'm running out of comments. someone send me a caption for this picture of Scott. Click here: email Mark

Staring too long at a Teague can mess with your vision.

Ann looks good from any angle.

If you bought one of those cute little sulcatas (African Spur Thigh Tortoises) at the show and feed him well, this is what you will have in twenty years.

Your gecko guy, girl, kid, and other guy. Came to the show from Prescott. Actually I think there were at least 4 vendors from the Prescott area at the show.

Rachel of Reptile Fanatics crossing over to the dark side.

Tommy of Tom's Rodent Ranch kept the mice flowing. There were a ton of hungry herpers at the show.

Michelle and my daughter Mia modeling the show staff tee-shirt. The color looked a whole lot better on the internet.

Kevin Wright DVM gave great talk: Think Like a Dinosaur, a Guide to Lizard Husbandry. A bunch of ladies left the show and traded in there husbands for a lizard.

Little do Jeff and the other Ball Python guys know that Ball Pythons are actually a hybrid created from a Burmese Python crossed with an Armadillo.

I bought one of these for my wife. This particular strand of DNA codes for the desire to ___________. You fill in the blank.

Nate wins the best sign competition. His prize is the really cute blonde next to him. So all you guys, have a great sign for next year. You never know.

Bob of ECO & Eric of Zoo Books. Eric knows my true weakness. He says something like "hey Mark. I've got this rare copy of The Biology of Purple Sided Sponge Turtles I thought you might like." I go home with an obscure frayed book and he goes home with my money.

I've got to give credit to all the show staff for wearing the pee green shirts without too much fuss. Next year I will be more careful with my color selection. The drawing is great though, isn't it.

Mario & Alex of Southland Reptiles. Southland as in Southern California. They turn the sand of the So-Cal beaches into glass for terrariums of every shape and size

Paul and Jill have been doing the show for years, taking advantage of the cute blonde discount on vendor space. If you feel you may qualify for the discount, send a photo exposing as much as you dare. Females only please. Put 'Blonde Discount' in the subject line: Mark's Email

"Umm. Where did that dang spider go?"

I didn't get a good picture of Tanya (the beardless one) this year, so I had to go back a couple of shows. She is the second most organized person I know. She mans the show info table with the skill of an juggler and allows me to roam and take pictures. Randy on the left does whatever she tells him to do--it makes him happy. 

"I guess it'll show up eventually."