Last year we had not instituted the hand washing rule (see yellow sign) and several hands were lost. Monitor lizards love the taste of ketchup smothered hot dogs and nachos.
This was the first year that the Arizona Senora Desert Muesum had a booth at the show. I think they're jealous. On the weekend of the reptile show, their attendence drops 30%. (I made up this #, but it might be true)
It takes 2.3 cans of Krylon, Low Odor, Premium White Latex spray paint, to paint a six foot alligator with 2 coats. How do you think I know that?
Mom took one look at the alligators and made dad carry this little tike on his shoulders through the entire show. Come on mom, there's tape around the mouths.
Last year the stylish herper was wearing a Bearded Dragon. The news from the Paris runways is that for 2013, Ackies are back in.
Nice Lizard. I know my photography technique is off. The subject of a photo should not be obscured near the bottom of the frame, washed out and out of focus. Sorry Bill.
Equatorial Spitting Cobras are known for there terrible mannors, they spit.
Trying to get the hang of her new wings by watching how bugs do it.
Snakes are almost pure muscle. Everyone of these is probably capable of pushing the lid off its deli cup. For the most part they don't. Nevertheless (I love this word, its three words strung together and I'm not sure how the three mean what they mean), every morning of the show we find a few of the more enterprising ones cruising around the show.
Chondros (left) are born yellow or red and at a bit less than a year old most undergo an ontogenetic color change to green. Some lines have been developed that stay mostly yellow, but none that I know of that stay red. The Emerald Tree Boa (right), is born orange and also turns green. When I listen to my sons music (death metal), I turn green.
A typical Sulcata feeding frenzy
Harry Potter visited the show and transfigured two of the petting zoo alligators into a sort of human form. The one on the left is Wally, on the right is Allie. I think they have reverted back to there original state. However, if you see either of these gators at the next show, give them a wide berth. They bite.
Several years ago, Vera came up to me at the show and asked if she could do balloon animals at the show for tips. I said sure. She has become one of the most popular features at the show. At least as popular as Elvis the 12 foot King Cobra.
This docil thing is the only spider (actually a Whip Scorpion) I've ever picked up voluntarily. When I was tike, my dad would throw big black rocks into the poor and I would swim down and get them (I was amazing). However, one time, during my formative years I swam down and picked up a rather squishy rock. It turned out to be a hugh Tarantula, quite dead, but I got to see its fangs. I've had trouble with spiders since. I'm trying.
Ex groupie for the band White Snake
The Mexican Beaded Lizard. This was one of only two venomous lizards in the world (the other being our very own Gila Monster) until that bald Australian guy shook everything up.
Drummer from Whitesnakes newest GF.
Ball Python morphs have been the rage for a long time now, which is why I won't have one. However, if I did, it would be a pibald one like this. The contrast of the stark white with patchs of normal color make it the most unnatural looking snake around.
A little of the alligator paint must have got in this lizard's eye
Even little kids are getting all tattooed up nowadays. What the world is coming to! I believe that's a Black and White Tegu (not to be confused with Tagus, which is a river in Iberia) behind her.
Amanda of AZ Dendrobate Ranch and her brood
Chondros were plentiful at the show this year. The name 'Chondro' comes from the old species name, Chondropython viridis. Years ago the species was placed in the genus Morelia (Carpet Pythons), so it's now Morelia viridis. But everybody still calls them Chondros.
This is how the Tucson Reptile & Amphibian Show & Sale is turning the public into herpers. One kid at a time.
Same kid, now torn. Will she be a snake person or a lizard person.
Horses are measured in hands. Lizards in arms. This Bearded Dragon is one and a half arms in length.
It takes patience to teach a lizard to use a cell phone.
Bob Ashley and his wife's good friend, Virginia. Why is he smiling? No it's not Virginia. It's because Bob is a true icon of the reptile world. He is the owner of ECO (along with wife Sherry), you've see there hats, shirts and books in every nature store in the country; he's the promotor of the NARBC reptile shows; builder and owner of the Chiricahua Desert Muesum and a fun guy at parties.
Actually I don't remember what this pretty snake is called. I'm sure it's deadly though. Just like last year (and next year) we had enough venomous snakes on display to kill every last af the 11,000 people that attended the show. Believe it or not, no one died (not even from a heart attack. Did you know that heart attacks kill > 30% of the population of the US of A). Snakes kill .00004% of the population of the USA. So that bowl of ice cream, or that steak you had for dinner is about one hundred million time as deadly as your average rattlesnake. Aren't statistics great.
Barack & Michelle Obama visited the show, in cognito of course
One kilo, the last one. Cost: priceless.
Even viagra won't help what's about to happen here.
There are just too many good possible captions for this one. Email me with yours and get two free tickets to 2013 show for the top three. #1: So that where I put that Python. #2: If you don't get your tail out of my shirt in two second, I'm going to smack you. #3: Hey, you've been playing with the python for 10 minutes, it's my turn.
The opening scene of 'Behind the Green Screen'
A Mangrove Pitviper. Difficult to not confuse with the Garden Grove Ambulance Chaser, they look a lot alike.
Unfortunately, Amelia got bitten by the arachnid depicted on her shirt and didn't do to well.
The Gray-Banded Kingsnake (Lampropeltis alterna) was the second snake I ever bred, about 25 years ago. These gray, red and black ophidians inspired a true modern snake cult. Every spring, hundreds of snake crazed, beer guzzling guys (and a few girls) from all walks of life, cruise Southwest Texas back roads in pursuit of these pretty lizard eaters. They resemble professor Henry Higgins, not in the ability to detect subtle nuances in London dialect, but in the pride they take in identifying the specific locality that a snake was caught by differences in pattern and color. They say things like: "Oh, you must have picked that up at the Southern end of route 277." or "Reds like that only come from the Christmas Mountains." or "Did you see that donkey drink that beer?" These guys had names like...
If your thinking about breeding these guys, be aware. They are not for beginers. Breeding them is easy enough using basic techniques for breeding colubrids. However getting the babies to eat can be difficult. 2/3s of my hatchlings would not eat pinkies. Strategies such as lizard scenting, braining (you don't want to know) and force feeding were required.
The White-Lipped Pitviper. Try as I might (using Steven Wright jokes, funny faces), I could not get this guy to smile to show it's white lips.
On the other hand, this guy kept laughing at me even when I was not trying to be humorous.
I have found that veterinarians are slightly cheaper for medical care than MDs. The other day when I sliced my finger, I went to the Vet and told him I was a Lawyer (a white lie). He said he was experienced in treating reptiles and sewed me up.
Founding member of the Ken the Bug Guy fan club.
Founding members of the ZZ Top fan club
Dirty Deeds, Done Dirt Cheap. No, I've used that line before. Actually Tanya and Randy are the reason nobody gets away with anything at the Tucson Reptile & Amphibian Show & Sale.
A mean looking yellow snake. Should have a band named after it.
Sandia Labs, New Mexico is where nuclear wepons research takes place, at least for the USA. Thus, a large portion of the genetic mutations in reptiles seem to come out of New Mexico. It may also explain things like the Altair computer, parthenogenic wiptails and some really weird humans I've met over the years.
Don Shorres grew up in Tucson, but now hails from Texas. However I bet he has some New Mexico blood.
JnS Reptiles alway has a smile. But if you move up one organ to the eyes, I figure they have been surgically altered. Note the glasses on the kid. Parents have either thick contacts or have had Lasik.
Periotic Table Reptiles. What a great name. Remember 'Revenge of the Nerds'. Love that movie.
It's an honor to have Tell Hicks displaying and actually painting at the show. He is truely one of the premier nature painters in the world. He lives and hails from England. I own 3 of his prints and one day aspire to having an original.
My son Ryan manning my personal booth at the show. I used to be a major snake breeder, alas, it was too much work. So after 25 years, I'm down to one snake (I used to hatch 500 a year) and just breed tortoises. I find unique reptile metal sculptures and sell them to give my son something to do at the show.
The 2 ATMs at the show passed out around $50,000 during the show.
Mike of South Bay Reptiles in San Diego loves to come to the Tucson show and sweat. They don't get to do that in San Diego.
Your Gecko Guy and mine comes from northern AZ every year to be sure no one leaves the show with out a gecko.
This was the first year where we instituted the policy that all classy women had to have reptiles painted on there nails for the show. Stella, unlike many others, did not ignore the guidelines.
Everybody was interested in Ian demonstrating the proper technique for stimulating a Gecko for reproductive purposes.
We require that at least 50% of vendors mechandise be reptile related. Nick's stuff fell just below the mark until he told me that Fido here loves to suck on Colorado River Toads.
The Glass Snake is actually the common name for the Eastern Leggless Lizard. I caught several of these when I lived in Oklahoma City (don't tell anyone I lived there). They were cool, like alligator lizards with there legs cut off.
Over the years I've come up with all the stuffed animal lines I could think of for Deana's booth. When I was an intern in Denver, I moved there with a giant terrarium, 6 feet long and 4 feet high. I built it. The front piece of glass was quite expensive. I used to keep an entire ecosystem in it, with ground dwelling lizards inhabiting the lower third, arborial lizards in the upper third. The system actually worked pretty well. Anyway, I didn't have the time to care for such an elaborate set up. So I set it up with about a dozen stuffed animal reptiles. Were talking 30 years ago, I still have one or two.
Tom is a high level member of the Midwest Tong (I know, he doesn't look Chinese). Don't mess with him.
All the girls know about his long green snake.
Vera is known for her long purple snakes, blue snakes, red snakes, etc.
Vanessa, our face painter, is not a very anatomically correct winged creature. The wing placement, just above the buttocks (in Britain it's Bullocks, remember the Sex Pistols), would be aerodynamicly unstable and present quite a problem with sitting on the privy.
I know, it's the third picture of the albino alligator. But how often in your life will you get to play with an albino alligator. Come to the 2013 Tucson Reptile & Amphibian Show & Sale and don't be left out of history.
The elaborate display of diverse humans facinated the large group of venomous snakes that attended the show.
Once every 2 weeks someone accidentally (oh right) leaves the cage door open and the 20 foot + reticulated python gets a free lunch. Just one of the various cost saving methods used to maintain a large group of voracious reptiles (just kidding of course, well, mostly).
LLL Reptiles. Need I say more.
Ken The Bug Guy (I don't actually remember his real last name. His side kick, Bug Girl, was featured earlier) gave a great practical demonstration on keeping Tarantulas. I'm going to the Ecuadorian rainforest in a month and I hear that there are social spiders there that build webs the size of a small house. Imagin being distracted by photographing a cool tree viper (something I hope to do) and blundering into one of these webs. Ahhhhhh %#@%*.
Watching Ken's talk. The guy in the 2nd row, white tee is a known conspiracy theorist
Being on the chunky side, the Phoenix Herp Society tried putting there 20+ foot Reticulated Python on the Adkins Diet. Unfourtunately the snake misinterpreted the plan and ate Dr Adkins and just got fatter.
Sam, of the T-Rex Museum, can't get enough of the new dinosaur app on the I-Phone
Searching for love in all the wrong places, but a couple thousand kids did find some cool fossils at the T-Rex fossil dig.
Mr. Croup and Mr. Vandemar are actually hyper-violent pan-dimentional creatures from the planet Tralfamador. The projections of their corporeal form in our realm just happens to look like a cute poision dart frog. While visiting the Tucson Reptile & Amphibian Show & Sale two years ago, having a sexual escapade with a few of AZDRs real poision dart frogs, a storm shift in the galactic topographical zones caused them to be isolated from their full selves. They have been frustratingly trying to return to Tralfamador for the past two years. Due to the hyper thought processes of the Tralfamadorians, to them it's been the equivelent of six centuries. They have vowed to turn the Earth into a 14 caret hyper-diamond upon their return to civilization. Let's hope the earth remains in the slow zone.
One of these apparent humans works in my office. The rest are refugees from Tralfamador. Hint: shes blonde (only her hairdresser knows for sure) and is not wearing glasses.(the sicence fiction books that I stole ideas from in this & the last caption are: Cats Cradle by Kurt Vonegut; A Fire Upon the Deep by Veror Vinge; The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams)
How could Aarron not be smiling. He's living the dream, breeding and selling cockroachs. Well, maybe it's not everybody's dream.
Even if you don't know if you like reptiles. Come to the 2013 show to check out the HOT BABES that man the entrance. We've got a few guys too.
One of my reptile show groppies. Those nails down my back are awesome.
Dr. Yeager discussed many medical problems that can effect your pet reptile. The take home message of this section on stomatitis (stoma = mouth, ititis = inflamation) was don't kiss your Bearded Dragon if he displays these symptoms.
Steven Segal before he put on a bunch of weight.
The Tralfamadorian Chameleon imitates its prey so closely that the intended target usually trys to make friends with it.
ATralfamadorian Chameleon blending in. You can tell by the eyes.
Moon Valley Reptiles specializes in Giant Killer Geckos as depicted in there poster. These are intended for advanced breeders as many novices that have attempted their husbandry have disappeared with out a trace.
Steve is the US rep for Exoterra, the largest distributer of reptile products in the world (maybe, I'm not sure of my facts). The black spot under his lower lip is photoshopped in. Looks good though. If he pays me, I'll let him keep it.
Terry of Rainforest Reptiles was selling Blood Pythons. I was a little worried about this at first. You know with the blood diamond thing going on. So, I did some research and found that the selling of Blood Pythons does not support the oppression of indiginous African peoples and we let Terry continue to sell his Blood Pythons.
As sick as I am of the Ball Python craze, I almost bought this one to keep as a pet. Hi white pibalds are really cool.
Is this lizard its natural color? Or is it using lizard dye. Only its hair dresser knows for sure.
Green Mambas are very pretty tree snakes, but I wouldn't want one to give me a hicky.
Was captivated by looks, and let the beautiful Green Mamba give him a hicky. Bad move.
Amanda, the queen of Dendrobates, gave a lecture on the care of Poision Dart frogs. Each year I try to have a great screen for the lectures. We've used sheets, white boards, the back of Bill Loves white tee shirt. This year I bought a white tarp for $10, It worked pretty well. I almost spent $110 for an actual screen that was 10 feet long, from a pawn shop, but weighed a ton and what am I going to do with it for 11 & 3/4 months of the year. So expect the tarp again, sorry.
No! No! Not another picture of the albino alligator. Sorry, it's very photogenic.
Petsmart had several booths at the show. They thought Tucson was in Nevada, so they had this giant gambling wheel. Fortunately the mob nor the police got wind of it.
Her shirt says: You'd make an excellent breeder. His says: Pimp my python. Not for trouser snakes. I bet these tee shirts are homemade. Herper have a way with words. Just look at me. Look at me. Look at me.
Lexie has been working with Dr Frodric Finkelheimer, the inspiration for the old sci fi clasic 'The Fly'. So far only her legs have transformed into pythons. Reminds be of my favorite James Bond evil woman (Onatop) who strangled men by wraping her thighs around there chests.
Our line of beautiful ladies takes your money, gives you door prize tickes and then stamps your hand with an invisable ink that glows under UV light. I think a large portion of kids think this is the coolest part of the show. Does the glow in the dark ink cause brain cancer? Genetic mutations, mother with historonic personality disorders, erections lasting longer than 4 hours, etc. Ans: nobody knows, even the late night lawyers.
As most of sophisticated herpers know, reptiles are cold blooded (polkiotherms). In a sophisticated experiment using propane and oxygen gas in a hyper-excited state, known as fire, various species of reptiles were tested. The postulate of the experiment was that the reptiles would grow and reproduce faster. Unfourtunately the results of this rigorous trial was unexpected. The reptiles (lizards, snakes, turtles, tortoises) did not grow and reproduce faster. In fact they just charred and burned. Well, science is like that, you can't get a PhD without killing a few reptiles.
One benifit of the propane and oxygen research though, was that the charred remains of the reptiles made really good hats.
Stella's Jungle is a shop from New Mexico. Right near Los Alamos ( the site of the USAs nuclear tests ). They specialize in white Black snakes; black White snakes; Two Headed snakes; Three Headed snakes; Four Headed snakes; etc. (I realize now hat I used the Los Alamos stuff in a previous caption. Sorry, I stay up really late to do this &$%#)
Greg always uses a thick leather falconers gauntlet when handling Nickki, as should everybody. Christian did not. See what happened.
Rich Funk and Bill Love gave a great joint talk about there separate but coincident in time trips to down under. These are several of the pythons that various herpers from Washington, Arizona, Oklahoma and other area of the US of A are trying to ship home for the propane and oxygen experiments discussed eariler.
A Tralfamadorian Chinch Bug trying to decide which oriface to enter to zombify this young woman. Fortunately I (the only one at the show who has been to Tralfamador, noticed the attack and was able to pop the tasty bug into my mouth, crunching it of course with my teeth so it couldn't takeover my brain, and saving the young girl from a life of servitude on Tralfamador. Of course I just got slapped. Well! we'll see if she survives the next show.
The show is getting buggier(is this how you spell this?) every year
Young couple trying to trade herp supplies for intoxicating substances. They were unsucsessful. At the show we only allow that sort of thing at the toad licking booth, and only with parental approval.
The lizard ballet, were little girls got to dance with giant monitor lizards was also popular. In order to get the public into reptiles you have to think outside the cage.
Another view of the Moon Valley killer Gecko. We had one loose in the hall on Friday and Saturday night. Guess what, no thefts occured.
A major herper from California who will remain anonymous, as late at night, my addaled brain can't recall(although I've known him several years). He came to the show to clean up on salcatas ( African Spur Thigh Tortoises ) which we breed like crazy in AZ. AZ is a lot like South Africa, but without the blood diamonds. Anyway he got skunked. It was a bad year for the tortoise crop. I feel bad.
Southbay Tropical had a large booth and as I said eariler likes to come to Tucson to sweat, something they can't do in Sad Diego. When the big one happens and California slips into the deep blue sea, Tucson will be the new home of South Bay Tropicals.
Jack Lalane as a kid wrestling a python. He moved up to towing boats later in life.
If you peal this tape off my snout, I will grant you three wishs.