Putting on a reptile show is great. Aside from all the loose groupies, the fame and Fortuna, you sometimes get to do something really special. Like holding a Nile Crocodile. This species has probably eaten more people than those Dorothy animals (Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh MY) combined.

Of course, this is the kid version, but look at those teeth. Thanks' Russ. 

KGUN, Chanel 9, sent there star reporter, Jessica Chapin, to cover the show. Click the photo above for the link to the video clip. 

Greg Ewald & his birds

Only recently has science deciphered the language of the American Alligator. They scrawl symbols into the mud to communicate with there kin. An alligator symbol that resembles the number 33 has been found to mean something like 'I'm Tasty, don't pass up this meal opportunity'.  Fortunately the staff of the Tucson Reptile & Amphibian Show & Sale has been keeping up with the crocodilian literature and applied the black Kevlar tape to this guy's mouth before he deciphered the little tikes shirt. 

Over the weekend of the show we had about 8000 people show up. We had about 50 species of exotic venomous snakes on display. Mambas, Cobras, Taipans, Vipers, Rattlesnakes, etc. Essentially, enough venom to kill every last person at the show. 

Cool. Huh?

A full grown, yellow phase Eyelash Viper was certainly one of the prettiest snakes on display. When I went to Costa Rica a couple of years ago, it was at the top of my list to find and photograph. I was successful. Fortunately, as far as my wife is concerned, it is illegal to keep exotic venomous snakes in AZ.

The Green Mamba. Back in the early '80s, I'd lived next door to one. Well, that's what she called herself. And on October 31, 1980, we went to a party together. She'd  painted herself green. But the neighborhood was consistent. Two doors down from me in the other direction, lived Bob Clark.

I want one of these shirts

Purple Breasted  Tegus lying on its back

The Inland Taipan or Fierce Snake of Australia has the most toxic venom of any terrestrial snake. This is not  one. It's the New Guinea version. Still looks mean though.

An albino Axolotl. This weird creature has a way of getting into your head. This is an inside joke. In order to 'get it', you will have to read Axolotl, a short story by the famous Argentinean writer, Julio Cortázar.

Steve Tallo, far left, produces these Gila monster and Collared Lizard sculptures. They're cast concrete from a mold of the original and then each one is hand painted. Each one has a different look. I got one for my back yard. Since then I've got live Gilas all over the place. My cat Walter, below, thinks it's cool.

Michael Dee (Natural History Books & retired curator of the LA Zoo) and Frank Retes (soap opera star) discussing the pros and cons of sex vs parthenogenesis.

Rich & Chuck weighed in on the discussion in favor of sex.

As did Charlotte

Nick, of Sweet Earth Art Co & his companion dog Toto. Due to government regulations we must allow companion dogs into the show. If they get eaten by a python or alligator, that their problem.

The barbeque vendor outside the front of the show was a big hit. Python in peanut sauce was my favorite, but Cracked Alligator and Iguana Tails were good as well.

Roy has to go to the head really bad, but he was nice enough to hold it in for this picture.

Not to be confused with NAFTA, NAFHA get no government support so we let them in free.

The kids already picked the tortoise burger, but are having trouble deciding on the side dish. Gecko pie or python chips were the biggest sellers.

Many kids have mothers (and even a few fathers) that won't allow, won't even consider a pet snake. How biased and prejudiced some parents are. Anyway, Deanna fills the gap and sells a ton of stuffed animal snakes, lizards, frogs, etc. She even sells stuffed mice and rats to feed them.

Misty, on the left, had a bunch of cool stuff, including these Reeves Turtles. They are supposed to be one the smartest turtles around. So I asked the one on top a couple of simple math questions and the thing just kept starring at me. I don't think there so bright. 

They all went to Jared's

After 20 minutes of trying on different lizards, he finely settled on the Beardy.

Tom's Reptile Supply had all these cool signs. I went over on Sunday to get a Turtle Crossing and they were sold out. I had to settle for a couple of lizard mugs instead.

This is a print of one of Tell Hicks's Rattlesnake paintings that will be going in his upcoming book. What type of Rattlesnake? I'll give you a hint, what color is the tail? Tell is one of the most talented nature artists I've ever seen. I've got two of his prints.

My son Ryan and I. We must be real geeks to dress in the same shirt.

She was trying to get this Black & White Tegus off her shoulder for an hour, but his claws were dug in deep. Some guys are like that. They get a pretty girl and won't let go for anything.  

I thought the design of her blouse was very reptilian.

Albino Red Eared Slider. Less than 4 inches. Obviously only sold to teachers for educational purposes. 

Bug guys are just too weird.

But bug girls can be awesome! 

A visitor from the planet Tralfamador. Using the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, he determined that his outfit was perfect to blend in with Southwest USA Human society. That Hitchhikers Guide is in need of a bit of updating.

The Bobbsey Twins. Can you name which is Flossie and which is Nan?

Top: Dipsosaurus dorsalis

Middle: Homo sapiens sapiens

Shoulder: Sauromalus obesus

I can't think of a creature on earth that combines so many unique external features as the Chameleon. Color changing (only bested by the octopus). A tongue like a spear gun.  Eyes like gun turrets. Feet like vise grips. A monkey tail. Songs by Blondie (Debbie Harry, my favorite), Boy George. The Military probably has a hundred covert projects to mimic it abilities. 

The coolest adult humans, are still kids.

Where were you when the lights went out at the Tucson Reptile & Amphibian Show & Sale. At around 12:30 on Sunday the we lost all power at the show. Fortunately there are skylights along the central isle. Despite the lighting, people kept coming in. When the lights returned 75 minutes later, a cheer rang through the building like a wave at a football game. 

My wife Cathy posing with a battery powered clamp on light that I'd bought at Ace HW. I bought it to circumvent the high cost of getting electricity at other shows ($50 - $85 at most California shows). It works pretty well and was one of the only lights around when we had the blackout.

The front door crew was busy on a continuous basis throughout the weekend. At most times we had six people manning 2 entrances to speed the line. We also have 2 or 3 big guys manning the exit and checking all receipts.

James, Adam &Shawn are fraternal triplets.

These guys are cricket addicts. They start out just eating a few. They just want to be cool like the big dragons. But then it just escalates. Pretty soon the group has a thousand cricket a week habit. They shit all over their cage with no regard for keeping things sanitary. Then its rehab city!

Amanda of Arizona Dendrobate ranch and her froglets. The smallest one has only just recently sprouted legs.

This picture is obligatory. Nikki and her unique name tag placement have been featured in the photos of every show for years. But I still like it.

Taron & Leah, of Reptiles Etcetera , Come all the way from Florence Kansas to do the show. I've been to Lawrence but not Florence. The coolest thing about Kansas is the Italian Wall Lizard which is established around Topeka.

For years I'll only drink wine with a reptile on the label. I think it's as valid a way to chose a wine as any.

Rich Funk DVM is our official show veterinarian (I have to look up how to spell this word every time. I don't even get close enough for spell check help. Even Vets have trouble with it; that's why they always shorten it to Vet). Rich prefers beer with reptiles on the label.

'B' on the left turned the skull (far left) of some horned beast in to art. It didn't sell at the show, so if you want to buy it let me know and I'll put you in touch. Tom (center) was raised in the desert by Coyotes until he was eleven. The cactus boots in the front of the picture were what he was wearing on his feet when he was rescued by a band of friendly reptile smugglers. The kid on the right is #14. Like many of the show workers, we keep him in cryogenic storage and thaw him out every year to work the show.

These kids have balls*

*Alright, the one on the right is actually a Boa

But not as much as me. The cup of sake that I'm drinking came from this bottle. It contains a Habu, Trimeresurus flavoviridis, one of the deadliest vipers in Asia. It's an honor to be offered a cup of this rare and expensive drink. One that I reluctantly could not pass up. 

Amanda gave a practical demonstration on how to set up a Poison Dart frog terrarium and how to care for the little gems. Only two participants were lost to Dendrobates terribilis poisoning.

Holly, a dance teacher, danced all weekend for Reptiles Magazine.

The Amazing adventures of Vera and her Balloons!

Skinks love to French Kiss. Especially Blue Tongues'. For Halloween this year, my wife and I dressed as usual, but painted our tongues blue. We wouldn't have gotten all those strange looks if we had just gone to a herper party. 

By the way, One these Northern Blue tongues is extremely hypomelenistic. Produced by James Fenn.

The 2 year old didn't even leave a noticeable lump in the snake.

One of Wendy's (Frogs With Altitude) rare Frogus yellowis.

The River Road Pet Clinic was the only vendor at the show that was allowed to sell food (the Expo Center retains concession rights) However, the chocolate covered crickets probably didn't cut much into the sale of hotdogs and beer.

I love their name, Chaotic Nights Reptile. For all you that keep diurnal pets (Dogs, some cats, dragonflies, etc) you probably don't know that a good portion of reptiles are nocturnal. Thus many reptile enthusiasts also have to become nocturnal in order to feed or even see their animals without having to turn something over. I have to go into my office at night every 2 weeks to feed my Emerald Tree Boa.

At the show we have lectures. Getting the projector, various computers, amplifiers, speakers and lecturers to all work at the same time is an extraordinary feat. Why Apple has to have a different connector than every other computer in existence is ridiculous. This AV disaster factor was really apparent not at this show, but at the recent Biology of the Rattlesnakes conference, when Jonathan Campbell gave the banquet lecture and the projector turned every color into something else. Anyway the guy above is Robert Villa who gives a great talk on our local reptile fauna.

Some sort green viper. I forget which one. If you know, click here so I can give it a name. Same with guy to the right.

Does this snake have cataracts? No. The eyes of snakes get opaque or milky or blue (there are many names) before they are going to shed. My eyes get like this whenever I hear my son's music (death metal).

Wendy, Frogs With Altitude, brought her mom along from that Colorado city with the Air Force Academy. It's on the tip of my temporal lobe.

Billie can't take her eyes off Randy

Manny Rubio gave his lecture, 'The Rattlesnakes of Arizona', from a seated position. Most people stand. I think it gives the speaker a feeling of dominance and power. Manny must be very confident to Lecture from a chair. Or maybe he's just getting older.

The second biggest lizard she ever held.

My son Ryan (the one with his finger up his nose) standing in front of my company sign. Look how nice it looks. It's older than he is.

Ian of Reptile Specialists demonstrating that if you squeeze a lizard hard enough in a certain way its tongue will pop out.

Holding a snake just makes people smile.

John, the massage therapist for the UofA swim team returned this year with his massage chair and a fellow therapist. As a lot of people with ophidian phobia were dragged to the show by more normal, reptile loving spouses and kids, the massage chairs stayed busy relieving fear and anxiety.

The Lectures

The Layout of the show

Rhinoceros Viper 

Not only did we have a boy scout troop come to the show. One kid had his birthday party at the show. What do you want to do for your birthday this year son? Ans: I want to have it at The Tucson Reptile & Amphibian Show & Sale.

Russ, Homo sapiens calvousness,  is the founder of the Phoenix Herpetological Society. As usual they put on a fabulous display of exotic reptiles.

How come only girls know how to smile?

Caught with he hand in the rat jar. Again!

Macy, Jan and Fred. I'm related through marriage. So I can't make fun of them.

Mia, my daughter, has trouble being seen with me. Behind her in the plastic tub is my Medusa hat that I kept putting on to her utter horror. I wore it for Halloween at my office. I may have lost a few patients that day. But not as bad as last year when for Halloween I was the Swine Flu. 

The Mad Scientist Booth delighted the kids. They actually have nothing to do with reptiles, but they contacted me and I thought they would be good for the show. Many a kid went home with a cup of slime that they made themselves. I frequently think of myself as a Mad Scientist. I'm going to have them do my next birthday.

The False Horned Viper. Don't ask me what makes it false.

This two headed kid was pretty cool

Tanya Man's (I mean woman's) the show master control center, freeing me to wander, cause trouble and take all these compromising photos. Thanks Tanya. 

Tanya is Larry Sedrick's sister. Larry and I started the show 10 years ago. Larry passed away about 6 years ago and we all miss him.

Tortoises have beaks, right? Well looking close, it appears this tortoises has teeth and fangs. Not even the fastest hare around would be safe from this guy.

We know who wears the pants in this family.

The Mangshan Pit Viper of central China.

Mike of South Bay Tropical. They are new vendors at the show from San Diego area and had a good time. They loved getting out of that terrible SD climate. How can anyone put up with constant 70s-80s temperatures all year. You need 100 degree + days to put things in perspective.

The T-Rex Museum put on their fossil dig. Kind of gives us a gem show feel.

When your legs get tired, anything will do.

Those graffiti artists will draw on anything. 

There Shore were a lot of snakes at the show this year; somewhat due to Don & Sally who have been to 9 out of our 10 shows so far. Of course this has been over a ten year span. There are many ways that you can tell the passage of time by comparing past and present show photos. One is by counting the gray hairs in Don's mustache. Also note the hearing aid (or is it one of those cell phone things). Anyway the technology change can be traced and correlates with time. And of course there is the change that can be followed in the shape of Nikki's gluteal region. Of course, if you have followed this last change as closely as I have, you'll notice that time seems to flow both forward and backwards. I'm a temporalist, and don't give much creed to the sect of physics that feel that time is an unessential feature of the universe. (See: The End of Time by Julian Barbour). Butt even so, Nikki's Butt  may give us the clues we need to make time travel possible.

The sting of the Ketakuna Black Scorpion causes the tongue to swell and protrude and geometric green and orange welts to form on the neck and upper extremities, preceding death.